Next week, I will be entering the RAWA Flash Fiction Competition, which limits stories to 250 words. While I’ve written flash fiction before, it isn’t my usual territory, so I decided I needed some practice. The following piece is my first trial run; it won’t be my competition entry.

Elma Turner is the name of the Nelson City Public Library, and the scene is entirely fictional. For the record, I have never tried to murder a librarian; they are all lovely people. However, I may have incurred some fines from time to time, but that’s between you, me, and the stamp pad!

Elma Turner and the Uneducated Assassin

“Killing someone with a gun is easy,” she said, “but have you ever tried to kill one with words?”

I gawped. Seriously?

The way the mousey, twin-setted, bespectacled woman stared back told me she was dead-set serious. She was stalling, snatching precious seconds.

Go on, I thought. Fill those sad little lungs. Suck it up.

“What ’ya mean? How can you kill someone with words?”

I smirked….the Knights of Ni and absent shrubberies hoed through my mind.

She smiled. “Everyone knows words are more powerful than bullets, knowledge stronger than any assassin.”

“But will they pay my library fines?” I interrupted, sweating, my finger twitching.

Her smile broke. “Perhaps if you’d read a book on time management or personal responsibility, then we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Look, lady, you’re not in any position to lecture. Are you waiving the fines or not?”

“No,” she snapped, hands on her hips, shoulders back, rigid and strong.

I smiled. There’s nothing better than a late librarian, and I was about to stamp her cover.

“Oh,” she added, “before pulling the trigger, maybe check out the shelf beside you. It’s crammed full of knowledge.”

I turned.

The encyclopaedia section came tumbling toward me. Her educated shoulder put to good use.  

I woke choking, buried in books, fighting for air as the pages of the Oxford Dictionary were funnelled into my mouth and shoved down my throat. The librarian laughed as she ripped and stuffed, then pulled my wallet out.

“Hah! That’ll learn ya!”