“Baikonur Bitch” Fiction by Roly Andrews

Rural Fiction Magazine

Rural Fiction Magazine: "Baikonur Bitch" Fiction by Roly Andrews

“No, you definitely can’t see the Big Dipper from Dunsandle, but you can see the Southern Cross alright!”

She didn’t acknowledge me, but I knew she’d heard and understood.

I looked down at her again.

“You really are a cutie,” I cooed.

Still no response; her fuscous eyes staring, fixating on the galaxies high above, pure amazement on her face.

I’d only just met her.

I’d just popped out of the Hall to smoke a durry and take a piss. I’d walked around the side of the old wooden building towards the domain behind, peering into the windows as I went by. I’d briefly watched Athol Simmons in the Hall Office, trying his hardest to familiarise himself with Glenys Hollis’s topography. While Athol struggled to unhinge Glenys’s bra, the Kirwee Cooees played their interpretation of Lonnie Donegan’s “Cumberland Gap”. It seemed way too appropriate.

I kept walking, nearly tripping over…

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Get it! Get it?

For someone so well educated and qualified, it would be perfectly reasonable to ask, why would anyone want to design a perspex abdomen? What problem would it solve?

Balls up!

Ang and Jack - Part Two “Oh, I’m not really hungry; I’ll just grab some meat, play around with that, maybe pull up some ice cream from the freezer.”

Just be nice!

Ang sighed. “Looks like ‘The Supremacy’, stuffed up again. This policy was supposed to make people behave and be nicer to each other. It was supposed to eliminate the assholes, make more space, and food plentiful. Instead, the assholes don’t register. What a complete stuff up!”

Stuffin’ Hec

“Some want bells & whistles; some just a cardboard casket. Some send their loved ones off in a golden shroud & a flash car; others, well, they can’t get rid quick enough, no-frills, nothing fancy. A sheet, a hole in the ground, or a can of gas, & a match!

Come gentle night

You came here seeking counsel, you feebleminded young man, do not throw this in my face. I have had Aswangs in my own church! They are clever; they accompany their husbands to Mass, only to dodge, duck, and weave the blessings I throw their way. I have seen it with my own eyes. Aswangs are also exhibitionists; they are vile and lewd. Did she expose herself to you? Did you see her naked flesh?”

Roly Andrews - Story Teller

Come gentle night!

“The battle between light and dark, good and evil is as old as death itself.”

Ramiro smiled, “Surely you mean life; for, without life, there can be no death.”

The old exorcist chuckled. “You are mistaken, young man; but it goes with your age! Death walks with and then stalks us all; and it is possible to be both alive and dead, or should I say, dead and alive.”

Death walks with and then stalks us all

“This is the wisdom I seek, Monsignor, the reason I have come to see you. As an exorcist, you tread the fine line between the living and the dead, the saved and the damned.”

“Then tell me, my son, how can I help you?”

“Forgive me, Monsignor, I think I have fallen in love with an Aswang.”

“This cannot be so Ramiro, you come from a long line of mortals…

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